The One With The Empty Hand: Video

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[They stand in their room with their arms crossed. They're knee deep in Human detritus, as usual and yet: they don't look happy. Charlie complains first:]

What the suck? Who decided you can't take it with you?

[Scrad grumbles:]

We worked hard for that loot.

[Charlie adds:]

Yeah, we looted hard for it.

Comments

Private - Text

[flashy_magic]

I'll...probably be able to get most of this. You know, once you earn it. The transport vessel will be your graduation present, once you get that far.

I own a lion, you know. Not on the Barge, though. But he's never going to be a rug.

Anyway, since I'm on a wardenly streak, I think we should discuss the ups and downs of the port. Like...you met people who accepted you, even though they were human. That's good. You stole a bunch of stuff. That's bad. You know, that kind of thing? I mean, if nothing else, it shows that humans aren't all that bad.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Watch what you call petty!

[Scrad hisses. They had more than one large flat screen TV in that stash. But even they wouldn't call themselves supervillains. They're aware of where in the villainous hierarchy they fall, and they have no ambition to be any higher up. They have no ambition to be any anything, really.

But an experimental military submarine does sound like a good investment, and had they come across one they most certainly would have sold its location to the highest bidder.]

Re: Private

[twoheadsofcabbage]

A live lion seems bitey.

[Charlie says. Scrad rolls his eyes.]

Okay. You discussed it. And?

Re: Private

[flashy_magic]

He's trained. He's part of my act.

And do either of you have anything to add?

[timesbureaucrat]

I'm watching it right now.

[Thanks to the vid feature on the communicator.]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Are you talking about us, or this thing?

[Scrad asks, shaking the comm slightly.]

Re: Private

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Yeah, but: free will.

[Charlie points out. Scrad asks:]

Such as...?

Re: Private

[flashy_magic]

Like...the heist thing. Will that be happening at every port we stop at that presents that sort of opportunity?

Re: Private

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Depends what other opportunities there are.

[Scrad says. Charlie explains:]

We can also make a pretty good living playing online poker.

Re: Private

[flashy_magic]

Online poker would be better.

[timesbureaucrat]

I'm talking about you two nitwits, of course. [He snaps irritably. Having to explain it takes all the satisfaction out of snarking.]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Alright then.

[Scrad says. Because you can insult them all you like, but step off TV's nuts.]

Re: Private

[twoheadsofcabbage]

It gets a little boring.

[Scrad admits.]

Not all that social.

[timesbureaucrat]

Right.

[And Scrad and Charlie just accepting it really takes the wind out of his snarky sails.]

Re: Private

[flashy_magic]

Yeah, something more social would be more fun, wouldn't it? Maybe playing in person poker with the guys? Going to a casino? Or a bar? Bars are fun.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[Sorry boss: you ain't telling 'em anything they don't think about each other anyway. Scrad looks uncomfortable and offers:]

...we'll...try to steal something bigger that we won't get to keep next time?

Re: Private

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[Charlie snorts.]

Yeah, when you're not stuck in a backpack.

Re: Private

[flashy_magic]

Yeah. I'm still trying to work out a better solution to that one, mate.

[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin still thinks that when someone insults you and you think it's true, you either protest loudly anyway or proudly claim the insult and wear it like a badge. Acquiescence is just weird.]

You're taking away the wrong lesson from this.

Re: Private

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Why?

[Scrad asks. Charlie says:]

Not like it's your problem.

Re: Private

[flashy_magic]

Yeah, but it seems annoying. Unless you're fine with it, but I thought you might like to be out at bars and clubs, Charlie.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[Either of those things would require pride. They have none.]

Okay?

[Scrad says. Charlie looks on expectantly.]

Re: Private

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Why wouldn't you think I would like that?

[Scrad asks.]

Re: Private

[flashy_magic]

Didn't think you'd like which thing?

Re: Private

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Not having to be the only one that does anything.

[Scrad says. Charlie protests:]

Hey. I do stuff.