The One With The Sparkle [Video]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[Just Charlie on screen, but from the slump of Scrad's shoulder behind him, you'd be right in assuming his larger half was asleep. Charlie shakes like a dog, and a shower of glitter rains down briefly from his hair.]

This stuff is gonna be freakin' everywhere for freakin' ever.

[He spits some glitter out of his mouth, then continues.]

New deal: from now on, we go a week without getting turned into something stupid? We will do whatever.

[But not unless someone holds them to it.]

Comments

[buywithme]

[Oh oh oh it's glitter! And apparently a love of glitter is a unifying force between Prefect and his breach self, because he's just going to watch you shake it out of your majestic mane for a few seconds.

Wait.

Mane.

Oh. Oh awkward.]

Uh... If it makes you feel any better about this, Comrade, I thought you were a very impressive unicorn at the time.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[Charlie's do is pretty kickin' on a daily basis. He's obviously the one with the style. (No he isn't.)]

All we're askin' is to stay shitty us. Would that be so hard?

...But thank you. I mean: we were pretty.

[buywithme]

It's not an unreasonable thing to want, Comrade. That was... an extremely troubling breach, all in all.

[The purloined nipples... so terrible.]

I would have thought of you as being majestic, but I might have been biased by your frequent rearing up.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Whaddya mean?

[Everybody deserves nipples. Also, they were too busy stalking the sexually inactive to peruse the network.]

Yeah, what was up with that? Is it just a horse thing? It's like a lotta effort for no reason.

[buywithme]

I just... the person who I turned into bought some body parts from people, and they were still in my room when everything changed back.

[Ah, the sexually inactive, skulking around, full of frustration and low self esteem! Truly the most tantalizing of students.]

I thought that was how you made the rainbows? But I don't know, horses do it on films and advertisements a lot?

[twoheadsofcabbage]

And? You bought 'em fair and square, man.

[You're lucky: they never seem to get to keep the stuff they acquire that doesn't come in pinata form.]

The rainbows kinda just happened. Alla that stuff did. Like I don't remember doing it, or thinking I oughta, but I guess we did, huh?

[buywithme]

But they were internal organs! Imagine if you woke up, and my liver was just sitting on your dressing table, Comrade. Would you be happy to have my liver?

[Pinata sounds like a pretty good thing to have acquired! Unless it was a live pinata with organs and intestines inside it, it sounds far better than a human heart...]

It was good. I liked the glitter and the rainbows. It all seemed like the way a unicorn should be.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

If I paid for it. Or I'd want a refund, 'cause I don't think human livers are worth that much. Isn't the big money in kidneys?

[Price it out, Prefect. Charlie actually looks a little embarrassed, but flattered.]

We were pretty good at it.

[They don't normally consider themselves good at anything. Of course, they have no other unicorns to measure themselves against.]

[buywithme]

So you'd be happy if it was my kidney? Or kidneys? What would you even do with them here?

[Prefect switches from his expression of horror to his expression of approval without missing a beat. Kidneys = Bad. Unicorn = Good.]

You were! You were very acrobatic, for a creature with such dainty hooves!

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Look, I dunno why I'd buy it in the first place, but if I did: I did. Like you said: you got two.

[IRONY. They don't really have it on their planet.]

Which is weird, right, 'cause we got pretty big feet.

[One of their feet obediently finds its way into frame. They're wearing their pink Converse All-Stars today. Once Charlie is done showing it off, his foot drops limply back down like a sack of potatoes.]

[buywithme]

Well. Buying things is important. Normally I'm a great believer in retail therapy but I don't find this very therapeutic...

[But oh hey! Pink Converse All-Stars! Those are some pretty nice shoes on their giant feet. Prefect is going to resist the urge to comment on this.]

That's--

[Actually, that's another interesting thing.]

Can you control your body, even when he's asleep? That's really interesting, Comrade...

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Maybe you shoulda hypothetically charged more.

[Charlie suggests.]

'course I can. It's my body too. And he sleeps like the dead.

[buywithme]

I think one internal organ was enough for me.

[Man, that is just fascinating in it's implications.]

So you could just go down to the kitchen, and make yourself a sandwich, and then come back to your room and eat it, all while he's still asleep?

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Sure. Walkin' around while he's out of it does sometimes gives him whiplash, but. Fuck 'im.

[maxwells_demon]

I dunno, I'd take glitter over being a horny pony.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Oh, har har.

[Charlie hars.]

...I don't get it.

[maxwells_demon]

Unicorns have horns, you had two heads.

So you were horny?

[twoheadsofcabbage]

We always have two heads, genius.

[Charlie tips the camera to show the sleeping Scrad.]

And we're always...never mind.