[Prefect looks a little shifty, because he wanted to talk about YOUR FEELINGS, not HIS CRIMES. But whatever, if it cheers you up he'll take you.]

I was part of an oppressive totalitarian capitalist regime that dehumanized it's citizens and worked people to death.

[A slight pause, and then:]

In addition to being evil, I was also extremely annoying. Someone nearly strangled me once because I kept trying to sell him various remedies for sea-sickness.