The One With The Hostage Situation: Video

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[For once, they are not broadcasting from inside the last rent controlled apartment in Manhattan: they are in Prefect's quarters. As is Prefect. And this does not appear to be a social call. Scrad keeps his eyes, and the gun-shaped object in the pocket of their hoodie trained on Prefect, as Charlie addresses everyone, stretching forward on his stalk to peer into the comm's camera.]

Okay. Here's the deal: we want off this boat, and we want off it now. So unless you wanna see something unpleasant happen to this guy-

[Charlie jerks his head in Prefect's direction. Scrad nods.]

-...I'd suggest somebody get with the getting.

Comments

[can_has_vodka]

[This is Arkady's Disappointed Face. It doesn't get seen very often.]

Scrad...Charlie...this is a giant mistake. Very, very big one. Have you even bothered to think this through?

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Yeah.

[Scrad insists.]

...No.

[Charlie admits.]

But so what? Thinking is what landed me here in the first place!

[Scrad says.]

[can_has_vodka]

[A long sigh.]

Very well, you have left me no choice. Have it your way.

Are you going to let me in when I knock?

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Depends. You gonna give us a lift back to Earth?

[Charlie asks. For once, he does know the answer.]

[can_has_vodka]

You know I can't teleport between worlds yet! I'll probably need another Upgrade before I can even try! And even if I did the Admiral's stronger than all of us.

I can't believe you're dragging Prefect into this.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Who else were we supposed to drag?

[Scrad asks. That's actually...sort of meant to be a compliment. First kidnapping choice: high praise.]

[can_has_vodka]

Nobody, you pair of bloody idiots! None of us have the ability to free you from this place, you should know that by now. All you're going to do is cause Prefect pain he doesn't deserve and get yourself thrown into Zero.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Why should we? No one tells us anything!

[Scrad says. Charlie adds:]

And the guy who kidnapped the whole damn ship sure got outta here fast. Don't think we didn't notice that.

[can_has_vodka]

Is that what this is about? Look, I very much imagine it was easier on him because he isn't dead back on his world. Right now that's all you'd have to go back to--your deaths.

I hate this. I want to help you but not while you're hurting Prefect. He's a dear fellow and really doesn't deserve this.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

This is about...look, we don't know!

[Charlie half-lies. They sort of do. They sort don't. They're following some pretty old orders here, but that's all they've got.]

We like the guy too, but we got no choice.

[Scrad says.]

[can_has_vodka]

There are always better choices than hurting people who care about you, boys, I swear it.

[She's crying, and shakes her head.]

I'll come visit you after you're caught and have had a chance to settle down.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[Well crap. That makes them feel...no, there's no point. Can't think about it. Gonna be gone. She'll forget. Probably doesn't really care anyway.

Still, something guilty flickers across Charlie's face before they cut the feed.]