twoheadsofcabbage | The One With The Hostage Situation: Video

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The One With The Hostage Situation: Video

[For once, they are not broadcasting from inside the last rent controlled apartment in Manhattan: they are in Prefect's quarters. As is Prefect. And this does not appear to be a social call. Scrad keeps his eyes, and the gun-shaped object in the pocket of their hoodie trained on Prefect, as Charlie addresses everyone, stretching forward on his stalk to peer into the comm's camera.]

Okay. Here's the deal: we want off this boat, and we want off it now. So unless you wanna see something unpleasant happen to this guy-

[Charlie jerks his head in Prefect's direction. Scrad nods.]

-...I'd suggest somebody get with the getting.

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[Somehow, Dean has just never gotten the "dangerous" vibe off of these two; the pirate flood didn't exactly help. This isn't either, really.

Nonetheless.]

The entrance to the bridge is in the engine room.

People get blown up looking for the bridge through there! They're not going!

[Banned by their own hostage...]

[Dean pauses, tilting his head to see Prefect and raising both eyebrows. He sighs.]

Dude, where are you?

We're in my cabin.

...They were being polite when they first knocked?

[Squint.]

...Oooookay. Well, it looks like there's enough cooks in this kitchen that I'ma see my way out.

I'll just go stop Barron from doing anything stupid, right?

[By the way, Prefect, meet Dean. He knows who you are even though you've never met. And has trolled you.]

Oh my god, yes! Thank you! This is exactly the kind of thing he likes to overreact too.

Could you go check on him right now?

[Oh, Prefect has heard of you, Dean. He has heard of you and he hopes you like babysitting memory workers!]

You got it. Hang in there, someone's... well, something'll happen anyway.

I'll try to get him to go play some pool until this blows over.

[Co-~~parenting~~wardening for the win.]

You can keep the bridge.

[Scrad says.]

We aren't looking to take this hunk of junk or any of you with us.

[Charlie explains.]

I don't want the bridge, but popular opinion states that's where the douche with the hat hangs out.

You can keep that too.

[Charlie says.]

So who exactly are you tryin' to get to let you off the boat then? We're not runnin' the show.

Whoever!

[Scrad says. Charlie adds:]

We're not picky.

That's good, 'cause I don't think you're gonna get to pick who does the negotiating.

I would like to state unequivocally that that is not true.

Given that the Admiral seems to make a particular route to the bridge inaccessible after use, if anything after Kirk's escapade I'd say it was less true than it ever was.

Yeah, so I've heard, which is why I figured it was pretty safe to send 'em that way and maybe get 'em separated from Prefect.

You know, in case they actually managed to do something with the information before someone caught up to 'em.

On the longer scale, I'd prefer this information didn't get disseminated and accepted as true by anyone, for any reason. I don't need some idiot with a homemade welding gun knocking at that door every time they get itchy feet. Besides, they've already made their disinterest obvious.

On the other hand, if people keep thinkin' it's there, we'll always know who's looking for the exit before they cause trouble somewhere else.

Good job though, darlin'.

With all due respect? Fuck off and don't condescend to me. I have the right to ensure the security of my workplace, and I feel that painting a target on what is already the most vulnerable area of this ship is utterly idiotic.

If you want to start a rumour that an area of the ship is functioning as an entrance to the bridge, I wish you would, but make it an area that isn't also vital to the Barge's function.

For one, I wasn't condescending to anyone - I get what you're sayin' about them not being interested and not wanting traffic, so yeah, good job gettin' it out there when what I was trying to do wasn't working.

For two, rumors only work when they're believable and that one's believable seein's how it already happened.

For three, it ain't like you're alone in securing the damn room.

You actually think darlin' isn't likely to be taken as

It's hardly my fault if you're terrible at misdirection

As a matter of fact I am alone in there for as much as eight hours a day and I think it's entirely reasonable for me to not want to have to deal with

[But nothing transmits, and she knows what a futile argument looks like so she's just going to leave this alone.]

We don't want your freaking bridge, I just wanna go home!

How long have you been here?

I don't know!

[Scrad says. Because why would you ask them to do math at a time like this why?]

Well, you've been here at least as long as I have, so that's a minimum of two months.

What part of your time here made you think this was going to be a workable idea?

I don't know!

[Scrad repeats. It's not, technically speaking, their idea at all.]

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The One With The Hostage Situation: Video

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