The One With The Hostage Situation: Video

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[For once, they are not broadcasting from inside the last rent controlled apartment in Manhattan: they are in Prefect's quarters. As is Prefect. And this does not appear to be a social call. Scrad keeps his eyes, and the gun-shaped object in the pocket of their hoodie trained on Prefect, as Charlie addresses everyone, stretching forward on his stalk to peer into the comm's camera.]

Okay. Here's the deal: we want off this boat, and we want off it now. So unless you wanna see something unpleasant happen to this guy-

[Charlie jerks his head in Prefect's direction. Scrad nods.]

-...I'd suggest somebody get with the getting.

Comments

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[No one's been telling them to do their laundry, and they've been in a funk. As a result, their laundry has also been in a funk. They return his flatly look quizzically, because neither of them knows what 'petrify' means.]

It was just what she told us to do.

[Charlie admits. They never really thought this was a good plan.]

[buywithme]

It wasn't a real hostage situation. [Prefect points out.] And they were very upset, Comrade. I don't think they need to go to level zero. [Especially since they'll be down there just getting grosser and grosser...]

[most_feared]

He held a gun on you that you didn't know was a real gun. And he seems harmless enough now but he nearly had Jay killed and he helped a ginormous kudzu bitch kill, terrorize, and harass some very good people. If this man is still doing shit that Serleena put him up to like it's a good idea, he needs to sit and think about what he's done... ...Do you actually have clean clothes? [That last bit at Charlie and Scrad, because suddenly he's aware that he might not. Is he going to have to make him do laundry before he grounds him?]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

That got outta hand.

[Scrad says. Charlie insists:]

We didn't know they were gonna bend him that much.

[But all that other stuff...well, that's true.]

We didn't think...

[Scrad begins. And that's all. They didn't. They don't. And no: they don't actually have clean clothes.]

[buywithme]

They were very upset. [Prefect interjects, a little defensively, because being upset is a good excuse for doing stupid things, then a thought occurs to him, and he gives Scrad and Charlie a sidelong look.]

But you did sort of think, Comrades. You did know that this wasn't going to work, you just couldn't think of anything else to do. [Yeah, he heard you talking to Arkady. And a bunch of other people. HE KNOWS YOU KNEW.] You shouldn't just do things and then act like it's because you weren't smart enough not to do them. You're not idiots.

[This might not be entirely true, but they clearly need the self esteem, so Prefect'll take a risk and force himself to believe it.]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

But we are idiots.

[Charlie says. Scrad nods, soberly.]

[most_feared]

That was only out of hand as you made it. [And he doesn't want to think about the people that they were involved in hurting. It pulls him out of professional mode, and he's been hiding in his own responsibility in personal involvement for years rather than having to face that he lost people. Elaborating will further push him into a position where he has to admit that he was pretty badly wounded by these circumstances. So he moves on to the obvious stupidity of, "But it's alright to do this if he was sad!"]

Being upset or having bad things happen to you is a bad reason to hurt people. And this time it may have been you, but next time it might be someone not so prone to Stockholme. And if you go through with a shit-stupid plan, you two, [Non-gun holding hand points between one head and the other] especially you [at Scrad, who seems the most susceptible to being pushed around.] it stops being their idea and becomes your idea, too. That's what being an "accomplice" is.

[He motions off to the side with the icer.] Go do some laundry! I'll come find you in two hours. And believe me, I will find you, so don't try to hide. And then I'm taking you to Zero.

[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin looks between Scrad and Charlie with narrowed eyes.]

You're fortunate that one day in Zero is all you're getting. On Gallifrey I'd have you interrogated as a potential terrorist suspect.

[It's like good cop, bad cop, and worst cop with Prefect, Kay, and Narvin respectively.]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[They nod while staring at Narvin in confusion. Why would they be interrogated as a potential terrorist suspect? They're a fully convicted terrorist. But they wouldn't presume to tell Narvin how to do his job. That's not how they're wired.

Kay's orders are clear, though, and they're visibly relieved to receive them. Even gesturing with a weapon is threateningly comforting.]

Yessir.

[They mumble in not-quite unison.]