The One With No Good-Byes [Video]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[The boys are standing in front of a Barge-normal door. You know what that means kids...]

Our warden flew the coop.

[Scrad announces flatly. Charlie sarcastically adds:]

Big surprise.

[Actually, it is. They liked Drake; thought he was an okay guy. Trusted him, kinda. Almost. This hurts.

Don't expect them to admit that, though.]

Comments

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Why're you sorry? Like he said: you don't even know us.

[Scrad points out.]

[ichoosefight]

Because I care about people who haven't directly or indirectly tried to murder me yet?

[twoheadsofcabbage]

...That's a pretty loose criteria.

[Scrad says eventually.]

[ichoosefight]

I'm an idealist.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

So what if they don't care about you, though?

[Scrad asks.]

Yeah, what then?

[Charlie echoes.]

[ichoosefight]

Nothing then. As long as they don't, you know, try to murder me.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

And that's all that matters to you.

[Scrad doesn't ask.]

[ichoosefight]

In relation to a taking an interest in improving a stranger's life, sure. I mean obviously there are more criteria for friendship, frenemies, arch-rivals, et cetera.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[Charlie narrows his eyes. Scrad doesn't. Scrad asks:]

Like what?

[ichoosefight]

Well, friends have to have something in common, for starters. And it's a two-way road, you have to give as much as you get.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

We know how friends work.

[Charlie insists. They've seen every episode.]

[ichoosefight]

So then what's the question?

[twoheadsofcabbage]

That other stuff.

[Scrad says.]

[ichoosefight]

What, frenemies? Arch-rivals?

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Sure.

[Scrad agrees. Charlie agrees:]

Whatever.

[ichoosefight]

Well, frenemies basically include anyone who I ought to be friends with but can't seem to keep on good terms with. Arch-rivals is a little more complicated.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Frenemies is a good word, though.

[Scrad says.]

[ichoosefight]

Isn't it, though? Good old Colbert.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

That guy on the Daily Show?

[Charlie asks.]

[ichoosefight]

That's the one, only they gave him his own show.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

There's enough news for that?

[Charlie asks no one in particular.]

[ichoosefight]

There's always more news.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

I dunno...

[Charlie says. Scrad points out:]

They are kinda always saying the same thing.

[ichoosefight]

It's Comedy Central. It doesn't matter if it's the same old news as long as it's funny.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

I meant the news. Are always saying the same thing.

[Scrad says. Charlie agrees:]

I agree with him.