The One Where Of All The Things I've Lost... [video]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[They're in their room. One of them is drumming their fingers on their own knee. They stare into the communicator.]

...Okay, we don't get it.

[Scrad says.

They appear entirely sane. Because clearly they don't have a mind between them to lose.]

Comments

[can_has_vodka]

Oo, don't worry boys, we'll be out soon, and meanwhile I think I have almost got this place. Almost. Oo, poor bastard--auto erotic asphyxia, May 12, 2020. I'd hate to be him. Aren't you glad you're not him, found dead of having an elaborate wank by someone with a camera and Internet connection?

...where was I? Oh yes. [She pauses to lean against a giant mushroom.] Meanwhile the hedgehogs have staged a rebellion and someone fired a pepper gun at me, but then the wind shifted. Poor things.

I'll be back once this is over. I'm glad that you're safe.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[They both groan.]

Not you too.

[Charlie says.]

[can_has_vodka]

Oh, don't worry, don't worry! I know all about being addled, I was dottier than a leopard before that last Upgrade. Everything will be just fine. Except for the poor blonde girl. Also poor Arthur's lost his head and the other one's got a knock on his.

Oo, and watch out, the witch has gone mad and another one's close behind her. There's Mike's Hard in my fridge, key's under the mat and the chickens are fed. We should set you up a LAN party once I get back.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

A...what?

[Scrad asks.]

[can_has_vodka]

Well, you get a great lot of computers all hooked up together, and then you get snacks and drinks and such--lots of caffeine--and you invite people. Then you all play a computer game like Call of Duty together.

Oo, the snapdragons like bacon! But what are those two idiots doing fighting a giant dodo?

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[Charlie whines.]

This...this is hurting a little bit...

[can_has_vodka]

Oh, my poor boys. It's all the timey-wimey stuff, isn't it? I'm sorry. Most people see time in just the one direction and it can be such trouble for them to sort out any others. That's all right. Never you mind.

Just watch out for the witches.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[Scrad gulps.]

What witches?

[Charlie hopefully quips:]

Sandwiches?

[can_has_vodka]

Oh, no, the sandwiches are capital. Turkey and bacon with avocado and those dark red tomato slices.

The witches are brunettes, both of them.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

I don't think we know anybody like that.

[Scrad says.]

[can_has_vodka]

Well, if you see any dark-haired women who look completely crazy and are wrecking things around them, don't go near them, right?

So sad that such a pretty place can have such consequences.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Wait, any dark-haired women who look crazy?

[Scrad asks.]

That's, like, all women.

[Charlie incorrectly declares.]

[can_has_vodka]

Sounds like you've been around the wrong sort of women a lot.

[A dragonfly flutters past spouting flames and she squees and starts chasing after it.]