The One With The Two Heads: Video

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[There's a man on screen. A scruffy-looking man who's recently been in a fight. His lip is split and bleeding, and there's a chunk of hair missing from one side of his head. He stares into the camera with unfocused eyes. His jaw works silently for a moment. Eventually he slurs:]

Did anybody...catch the plate on that Arquillian cru-...

[His eyes roll back in his head and he drops like a ton of bricks. The communicator lands with a clatter, camera still focused on the man's face. And then another voice pipes up. It is, in fact, the same voice.]

Oh, you did not just pass out. Scrad? Scra-ad!

[No one named Scrad responds. The man on the floor remains still. His eyes are closed. His mouth has not moved. It continues not to move as his disembodied voice quips:]

Annnnnnnnnd the champ! Is! Down!

Comments

[spam!]

[can_has_vodka]

Here you are, boys. [One for each fist! Yay.] We had dwarves aboard, and stocked it for them. But then I tasted it and now we have it all the time.

[spam!]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[They double fist a lot of things. Not that it's necessary, since they share a stomach, and one of them could easily get both of them drunk. But where's the fun in that? Charlie gets busy with the beer, while Scrad asks:]

What else does this place got?

[spam!]

[can_has_vodka]

[She takes out her communicator and brings up Chromie's maps and info, pointing things out as she names them.] Spa, greenhouses, gymnasium, library, pool room...food is here...the Infirmary's over here. Art and music room here...some of the areas you need a Warden handy to unlock it for you.

[spam!]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[Charlie peers over one of her shoulders. Scrad peers over the other. He asks:]

Okay, seriously? What's the catch?

[spam!]

[can_has_vodka]

Two catches. One, things here can be chaotic and dangerous. Two, you're here to learn. Not be punished, not be imprisoned, just stay until you've sorted yourself out.

[spam!]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

There's a spa. How dangerous can it get?

[Charlie mimes distress.]

Oh help! My nails are getting did!

[spam!]

[can_has_vodka]

[Gigglegiggle.] Actually last time it was ninjas. Lots and lots of ninjas.

[spam!]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[There's a pause. You should see this one coming.]

...Getting...their nails did?

[spam!]

[can_has_vodka]

Sorry loves. No. They were mostly capturing and enslaving us. That sort of nastiness is why I'm so into the alliances thing.

[spam!]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[Scrad does agree. Sort of.]

We have always been more about joining them than trying to fight 'em...

[But which 'them' you happen to be depends entirely on the situation at hand.]

[spam!]

[can_has_vodka]

Be clever and learn hiding. That can do much in this place too. [Her voice is soft.]

How's that brew?

[spam!]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[Charlie assures her:]

We know hiding.

[The beer gets 2 thumbs up, juggled clumsily around the pints.]