The One With The Empty Hand: Video

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[They stand in their room with their arms crossed. They're knee deep in Human detritus, as usual and yet: they don't look happy. Charlie complains first:]

What the suck? Who decided you can't take it with you?

[Scrad grumbles:]

We worked hard for that loot.

[Charlie adds:]

Yeah, we looted hard for it.

Comments

[flashy_magic]

Yeah, for future reference, it works better if you get stuff through your warden. It sticks around better that way.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[Charlie says:]

How's that supposed to be fun, just being handed stuff without...having to...do...

[Realization. Scrad says:]

We'll make a list.

[They're getting ponies.]

[flashy_magic]

Who says I won't make you do anything?

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[They point a finger at him accusingly.]

You're a tease.

[Charlie says.]

[flashy_magic]

Write the list anyway, and we can discuss it.

Text

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[The following list arrives shortly.]

-1 large high quality bean bag chair.
-2 83 inch HD flat-screen TV sets.
-Full set Disney's 'The Country Bears' McDonald's Happy Meal Toys, mint.
-The Clapper.
-2 life-time supplies "zesty lime" flavored Pringles.
-1 banana.
-1 2 person transport vessel, capable of light speed travel with full tank of fuel.
-1 DVD copy M.K. & Ashley Olsen's 'Two of a Kind'.
-'Friends: The Complete Series Collection'.
-1 medium sized male lion skin rug. Must be full roar.
-A hot dog machine?
-2 1 miniature pony, color: brown.

Private - Text

[flashy_magic]

I'll...probably be able to get most of this. You know, once you earn it. The transport vessel will be your graduation present, once you get that far.

I own a lion, you know. Not on the Barge, though. But he's never going to be a rug.

Anyway, since I'm on a wardenly streak, I think we should discuss the ups and downs of the port. Like...you met people who accepted you, even though they were human. That's good. You stole a bunch of stuff. That's bad. You know, that kind of thing? I mean, if nothing else, it shows that humans aren't all that bad.

Re: Private

[twoheadsofcabbage]

A live lion seems bitey.

[Charlie says. Scrad rolls his eyes.]

Okay. You discussed it. And?

Re: Private

[flashy_magic]

He's trained. He's part of my act.

And do either of you have anything to add?

Re: Private

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Yeah, but: free will.

[Charlie points out. Scrad asks:]

Such as...?

Re: Private

[flashy_magic]

Like...the heist thing. Will that be happening at every port we stop at that presents that sort of opportunity?

Re: Private

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Depends what other opportunities there are.

[Scrad says. Charlie explains:]

We can also make a pretty good living playing online poker.

Re: Private

[flashy_magic]

Online poker would be better.

Re: Private

[twoheadsofcabbage]

It gets a little boring.

[Scrad admits.]

Not all that social.

Re: Private

[flashy_magic]

Yeah, something more social would be more fun, wouldn't it? Maybe playing in person poker with the guys? Going to a casino? Or a bar? Bars are fun.

Re: Private

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[Charlie snorts.]

Yeah, when you're not stuck in a backpack.

Re: Private

[flashy_magic]

Yeah. I'm still trying to work out a better solution to that one, mate.

Re: Private

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Why?

[Scrad asks. Charlie says:]

Not like it's your problem.

Re: Private

[flashy_magic]

Yeah, but it seems annoying. Unless you're fine with it, but I thought you might like to be out at bars and clubs, Charlie.

Re: Private

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Why wouldn't you think I would like that?

[Scrad asks.]

Re: Private

[flashy_magic]

Didn't think you'd like which thing?

Re: Private

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Not having to be the only one that does anything.

[Scrad says. Charlie protests:]

Hey. I do stuff.

Re: Private

[flashy_magic]

Oh. Right. It wasn't that I didn't think you'd like it, I just didn't know how you felt about it one way or the other. And I wasn't sure why Charlie was emphasizing that it wasn't my problem. Anyway, I figure the Charlie in a bag situation has to be annoying, so I figure I should work out a solution, right? Like...look, it sucked not being able to use my powers in public, so I came up with this whole magician persona to explain anything weird anyone saw around me, and now even in front of ordinary folk, I can use my powers in New York.

Re: Private

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Of course I feel stuff about it! We're one person.

[Scrad insists.]

And it's not your problem because you don't have that problem.

[Charlie says.]

Re: Private

[flashy_magic]

Right.

Well, of course I don't. I still want to help out if I figure out something better.