The One With The Empty Hand: Video

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[They stand in their room with their arms crossed. They're knee deep in Human detritus, as usual and yet: they don't look happy. Charlie complains first:]

What the suck? Who decided you can't take it with you?

[Scrad grumbles:]

We worked hard for that loot.

[Charlie adds:]

Yeah, we looted hard for it.

Comments

[most_feared]

And humans are dumb when they're afflicted with mass hysteria. Don't act like a dumb human.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Hey, those guys didn't care that we have two heads.

[Scrad argues. Dumb humans are sort of their peeps, Kay. Smart humans are more likely to throw a hissy in response to Charlie, in their experience.]

[most_feared]

They didn't care about anything anymore, except what they could get their hands on.

[They're probably not smart humans then, in his opinion. He's picky on that subject.]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

What else is there?

[Charlie asks, like it's a rhetorical question. It's not. They don't know.]

[most_feared]

I wouldn't know. I don't technically own anything. The moment I die or become a nuetral everything in my possession is going to be confiscated.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[They both look horrified. Scrad whispers:]

But how...how do you live like that?

[Charlie wants to know:]

What's even the point?

[most_feared]

[He shrugs.] I'm kinda happy not feeling the need to scramble to get everything I can just in case someone else might get it first.

[Unless it's a gun. But usually then someone might use it to shoot at him.]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

But how can you be happy like that? You're so alone.

[Scrad asks.]

[most_feared]

[Sometimes he does really miss society, but he's figured out by now that he can't really live normally. He can go through some of the motions, though.]

I have a lot of friends. Most of them just happen to be agents or not human.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[Neither can they, really.]

Who says?

[Charlie asks. Scrad clarifies:]

That they're your friends and not just people you know.

[most_feared]

You shouldn't have to say. You just kind of... do it, I guess. [Oh god, how the hell is he supposed to describe the meaning of friendship. He ain't no My Little Pony.]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[So true, Kay. Your hair does not look fun to brush. Scrad asks:]

Do what?

[most_feared]

[Even when he was young and his hair looked like a helmet. No bows and ribbons for Kay.]

You just um... [Kay's "um"ing, obviously this is an adventure for him.] They're somebody you can be pretty comfortable with most of the time. Can bet pretty certainly that they wouldn't want to hurt you and any time they do they don't mean to. They might invite you over to their place, or finish off your jokes for you. Tell you personal stories just because they can.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[He looks like glitter would just annoy him. He also looks like friends would just annoy him.]

So people you trust.

[Scrad says. After a pause, Charlie declares:]

...yeah, that's not happening.

[most_feared]

[They kind of do, but he likes them anyway. Like popcorn kernels and extra butter on movie theatre popcorn; they have their downsides but they're good for the movie.] Depends on the level of trust, I think.

Worth it if you find someone you can trust for one thing.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

You ever been wrong about somebody?

[Scrad asks.]

[most_feared]

Yep.

[That's all the explanation he offers. Because oh boy was he wrong.]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

More than one somebody?

[Charlie asks.]

[most_feared]

A couple. [Just a couple. That he knows about so far.]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

And that's worth it.

[Scrad does not sound like a true believer.]

[most_feared]

A lot more haven't let me down.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[Charlie eyes him.]

You don't expect us to do math now, right?

[most_feared]

Not really.

I've never bothered to count my friends. Just that there's a lot more than a couple.

[Friends is a weird word. He's never had to use it this much. It's getting a little awkward. It might start losing its meaning. He's gotta come up with a synonym or somethin' that's buddy-like. Does "people" work?]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Not what we woulda thought.

[Scrad admits.]

[most_feared]

I noticed you need another head to do most of the thinkin' for you.

[Private]

What is it Drake has told you?