The One With The Famous Child Actor [Video + Spam]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[There's a two-headed boy on screen. He's fairly big for his age. Well-fed. Robust. And he's dressed in a complicatedly folded toga. And he's staring. Both of him are. Just staring. Both of his heads are the same size, and the one attached traditionally to his shoulders looks particularly lost. He's attempting to duck behind his second head, which is at this point in their development slightly too heavy for its neck-stalk.

They squirm slightly. They are, for once, not in Scrad/Charlie's spectacularly consumerist room. They'd awoken there, but they have no idea why, or how it happened, or whose things those are, and they're quite sure that they are now in trouble. Because they're always in trouble.

Which is why they've seated themselves on the floor in the hallway and are staring warily at all of you, with your one single heads. Is this their punishment?

Good job. It's terrifying.]


((SPAM. They're on Level 3, in the hallway, being a tripping hazard. Feel free to run into them. Literally. They do not have The Shining.))

Comments

[most_feared]

[The biggest line-face. He comes on and while he knows the ship will make them understand English, he opts for their language.]

I bet you're a little lost, there, Buckaroo. Do you know what floor you're on?

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[The first thing they look for is his second head, which is of course absent. They shouldn't be entirely surprised: he is talking to them and not to and about himself, after all.

Nothing can even begin to clue them in on what a Buckaroo is, though.]

This one.

[The boy's main head eventually supplies, pointing at the floor they're sitting on. They aren't being smart. You can tell because they're them.]

[most_feared]

[Oh... the both of you are still a touch on the derpy side. It's okay. He can work with it.] There's probably a door near you. Do you mind reading the number to me?

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[They turn and look at the door to what they aren't aware is actually their cabin. There certainly are incomprehensible squiggles on it. The head that will one day be known as Charlie gets the bright idea to point their comm at it. 312. Not that they know that is says that.]

I didn't mean to.

[Main-Scrad says.]

[most_feared]

You didn't do anything wrong. [Which is weird.] I'm coming to get you. My name is Agent K, and I'm a member of the Men in Black. I live on Earth. [Usually.]

spam

[tinyprat]

[So Arthur's exploring. He has a little wooden sword tucked into his belt, which actually comes in handy when he rounds the corner and there's some two headed thing.

The wooden sword is really only good for practice and giving people bruises but Arthur waves it at him anyway.]

Get back, you monster!

spam

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[They gaze blankly up at him. The head that will one day decide to call himself Charlie slithers forward slightly, and almost falls victim to gravity.

You are the first person with a single head they have ever encountered face to face, Arthur. How do you do it? You seem to be able to function just as well as they do. Plus you have a piece of wood. They're not sure what that's about, but they get to their feet anyway, straighten their toga, and attempt to make contact by pointing.

They don't have cats on their planet, so they are unaware of the results of curriosity on such creatures.]

spam - aha my notifs are all screwed up right now :c

[tinyprat]

[Arthur doesn't really look like he knows what to do, because monsters are supposed to make horrible noises and then he's supposed to fight bravely and that's that. They aren't supposed to just stare at you and then point.

So he waves his sword again.] Back!

spam

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[The waving is startling, and they scoot backward along the hall. They aren't very fast. A toga was not made for athletics. The second head makes a squeaking noise. That's a little bit horrible.]

Re: spam

[tinyprat]

[This isn't really going to be the battle of legends but Arthur's going to say that he fought a terrible monster and won.]

That's right. Be afraid of the might of Camelot.

[sharpememory]

Why do you have two heads? It's gross. Can I catch it?

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Gross?

[The main head echoes.]

[sharpememory]

Yeah, did you get transformation worked or something?

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[They're not sure what that is, but they're quite sure:]

I didn't.

[They both say it.]

[sharpememory]

Then how'd you end up with two heads?

[spam]

[can_has_vodka]

[A cute little girl with black pigtails and purple eyes bounces around the corner carrying a bowl of cookies. She wishes she knew where the others are, but she's alleviating the loneliness by poking around into as many minds as she can. People on this Barge are weird and have a lot of hangups, even as kids.]

[She pauses when she sees the little two-headed guy in robes, then wanders over.]

Hi! Are you lost? Do you want a cookie? [Cookies fix everything.]

[spam]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[They jump at the sound of her voice, as they had been staring blankly at nothing in particular, and that takes a lot of mental effort.]

...No?

[The main head manages, even though neither of them are sure that's the correct word. They aren't lost. They just don't know where they are, or why they've been left here. But they're sure it's where they're meant to be, and that it's all their fault, and...

Something smells yummy.]

[spam]

[can_has_vodka]

[She comes over and flops down cross-legged in front of him, smoothing her little print dress over her legs before holding out the bowl of chockachip cookies.]

Here. You should try these. Are you magic? I'm magic, but I only have the one head.

[spam]

[twoheadsofcabbage]

[They accept the bowl. The whole bowl. And they will eat the whole bowl.]

No.

[The secondary head agrees cheerfully. They don't know what magic is, but they know what cookies are. ...Well, no they don't know that either, but they know what they like.]

[spam]

[can_has_vodka]

We should get you up out of the hallway. It's cold on that floor and some people might be nasty to you if they think you're helpless.

C'n I ask you a question? Are you two people with one body or one person with two heads? Also have you ever seen anyone with one head before because you look like you haven't? Are you from another planet? What's it like? Oo, careful, you might give yourselves a belly-ache.

Have you ever had eggs? Francis taught me to scramble them and the chicken keeps pooing out more. Oh, and is that robe comfortable? Seems like you'd trip over it.

[Wait, that was like six questions. Oh well.]

[sees_monsters]

Your heads look funny.

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Funny.

[The main head parrots.]

[sees_monsters]

Very!

[twoheadsofcabbage]

Why?

[Asks the secondary head.]

[sees_monsters]

I don't know. People just don't have that many heads.